Tips to protect home while on vacation (includes commentary)

Gwinnett County Government shared ways to protect your home while you're gone on summer vacation. The bits that are green and italicized are my words :)

To help prevent burglaries:

• Stop your mail, newspapers, and any other home deliveries (have it forwarded to me at PO Box 1755, Snellville GA 30078, particularly if it's good stuff you think I'd like)

• Ask a relative or neighbor to house-sit. (Except Uncle Cletus, because he smells like cheese, plus remember what happened LAST time?!? )

• Lock all doors and windows, including the garage door. (duh!)

• Never leave messages on your answering machine that say you're on vacation (Don't post it on Twitter or Facebook either. Not only does it put you at risk, it cheeses me off to read about your fantastic island vacation while I'm stuck here, blogging about how to prevent burglaries while you're on vacation)

• Lock up valuables. (Except the ugly hand-me-down decorations that remind you of your ex-mother-in-law. Those can be stolen)

• Arrange for someone to cut the lawn; nothing gives away an unoccupied home faster than grass that is over a foot high. (In Snellville, we're not supposed to let it get that long anyway, if you do, you're in violation of code - nah nah nah boo boo!)

• Install motion-sensor spot lights at exterior doors and use timers on your interior and exterior lights. (ie, if your porch light is on at 2 in the afternoon, it's a giveaway that you are either really lazy or you aren't home)

• Take pictures or video of your home before you leave in case you have a break-in and need to identify your items. (If you are absent-minded like I am, you might need those photos to find your way back home)

To save resources:

• Unplug everything you can and turn off all appliances. (It's a good idea to EMPTY the refrigerator before you do this, take it from me, a chicken will EXPLODE)

• Turn down the setting on your water heater (I edited this, it read "hot water heater." Why would you need to  heat water that's already hot?...ok, back to the list)

• Consider shutting off the water if you will be away for more than two weeks.(I have those defective polybutelyne pipes in my house, so I cut off the water when I'm away for more than 10 minutes)